Good sex is one of the markers of a fulfilling life. Apart from pleasure, it has several health benefits and emotional significance. However, partners may sometimes find themselves stuck in a sexual rut. Some people blame monoamory or monogamy; others attribute it to age and a busy lifestyle. However, the good news is, there are several effective ways for improving your sex life. Want to know more? Keep reading.
1. Reconnect with your body
One cannot emphasize enough the significance of attraction in sex. However, it is not limited to sex-typical body shapes; it is more about body confidence. So, renew your connection with your body.
Learn a new sport, go dancing, try yoga, do something that helps reaffirm your love for your body. Once you get comfortable with your body, your connection with your partner’s body and their appreciation will follow suit.
2. Educate yourself
Whether you are a first-timer or an experienced love-maker looking for ways to reignite the passion in your relationship, the key is to educate yourself. You can do it individually or with your partner. Read self-help books, go through reliable online resources, or consult a sex therapist.
Apart from tips for better sex life, learn to perfect your touch. The lack of knowledge or performance anxieties may lead to inadequate or overt pressure while touching your partner. It interferes with sex being a pleasurable experience and may make your partner dislike sex. So, watch educational videos or consult a sex therapist to learn how and when to make the intensity of your touch vary.
3. Create and live new experiences together
Great sex is an outcome of your comfort level, bonding, and understanding of each other. Unless you prefer one-night stands with different people, it will take time and effort for you to develop a mental connection before a physical encounter with your partner.
Spend quality time together, do adventure activities together, go swimming, do something that brings you closer to your partner without jumping to sex. It also makes your brain release dopamine and other chemicals, which helps recreate the feelings you may have experienced during the courtship or honeymoon phase of your relationship.
4. Share and live your fantasies
Write your fantasies on a piece of paper and exchange them. It can help you know each other sexually and do activities that might turn you both on. Besides, if one of you or both are shy, it is a good step towards opening up to each other. Be descriptive. Get into the details of your ideal sexual experience(s). However, be receptive and open-minded too.
If your partner writes and shares anything you do not like trying, discuss it calmly with your partner and find something that will arouse you both equally.
5. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Neither you nor your partner is a psychic (or are you?). Right? So, it is wise to communicate honestly and clearly. Share your sexual expectations and how you felt during sex with your partner (and ask them too). Some couples, instead of speaking to each other, speak about each other with their friends. Well! Not a healthy practice as far as your relationship is concerned. While discussing your sex life with friends is a personal choice, it is not a substitute for communicating with your partner.
Do you want more foreplay? Tell your partner. Is there a particular position that you enjoy the most? Tell your partner. Do you expect your partner to be more emotionally involved after sex? Again, tell them. Keeping issues to yourself or just discussing with third parties only affects your sex life but the overall relationship too.
If you find it hard to remember your sexual experiences, start using a sex-tracking app. It will help you pinpoint the issue (if any) and discuss it with your partner more clearly and cogently.
6. Be open to solutions
Your partner complained of vaginal pain once, so you stopped initiating sex to avoid hurting her. Or consider another scenario. Your partner likes oral sex, but you find it off-putting, so now intercourse is the only feature of your sex life. If this is how things are between you and your partner, it is time to change your outlook. Become more solution-oriented.
Let’s reconsider the two examples shared above. If your partner says she experiences vaginal pain during sex, it could be because of vaginal dryness or lack of arousal. Devote some more time for foreplay and use lubrication to make her feel ready for penetrative sex.
Similarly, if one of you do not like oral sex, look for other ways to engage sexually. You may start with a full-body massage, go for genital stimulation, pleasure yourself in front of each other, and so on. Instead of giving up on your sex life or doing it just for the sake of doing it, work on the solutions actively.
7. Fix a time window
Whether or not you intend to have sex, spare some time to spend quality moments with your partner. It may or may not lead to sex every time but will ensure a better relationship. Even if you end up discussing serious issues at times, try to end the discussions with a hug or a cuddle. Make non-sexual physical affection a part of your day-to-day lives.
It is essential for strengthening the physical and emotional bond between you and your partner. This way, sex will fit in organically into your lives instead of being an activity driven solely by sexual urges.
8. Don’t let age be a dampener
Your body undergoes a lot of changes as you age. Consequently, it also affects how you experience sex. Dipping hormone levels, neurological changes, and altered circulatory functioning may lead to sexual problems such as vaginal pain or erectile dysfunction. But do not let these issues prevent you from living a rich sex life. Today, counseling, treatment, and medications ensure effective and timely treatment of sexual problems in people of all ages.
What else do you think may add to great sex?
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